Number 1 Rule of Coaching: Is Never to Intervene or Plant Seeds into the Mind of Your Client
I learned this rule the hard way. I was on a conference call with 16 coaches and one mentor. I happened to be the coach and was being graded on my performance. This was several years ago, and ever since (and forever) I’ll always remember the lesson.
While I was waiting for my client to come up with an answer. Being a rookie coach and impatient that time, probably because I was only given 10mins to coach someone with a major issue. I felt compelled to expedite matters, and so I made suggestions from which the client can choose from (“was it this ____, would you do that _____”). I thought this serves as a memory prompter. Now down to 5mins of my time.
“NEVER, EVER, NEVER EVER!!! Put thoughts into the mind of your client, Joel”… a brief pause; “NEVER!!!”
I can still feel the ghastly feeling churning in the pit of my stomach. The thought of my mentor not liking my style.
Why did she have to be so harsh on me?
At that point in time with my emotional compass in check. I could either have been unresourceful or resourceful. I could have taken the disappointment to heart and be a victim or I could be resourceful and take the gold among the emotional crap. I choose the latter. Hint: even if your ego is telling you to be unresourceful and play the victim, always choose to be resourceful… always!!! You will learn this as a student coach. Signup below if you’re not already registered.
While I didn’t ask that right there and then, I know I’d get my answer.
She did that to anchor the lesson in me. While I didn’t like her and her methods at the time, I surely appreciate them now.
For all the Awesome Coaching Students remember this okay? “NEVER, EVER, NEVER EVER!!! Put thoughts into the mind of your client”.
We will look as the important lesson of WHY this is so important that it deserved such an ass whooping to drive the point home. You will have more in-depth strategies into this in your FREE Coaching Lessons.
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See you on the path!